The Burn of Vertigo
by NovemberAngel
Summary: Zuko’s internal struggle continues as he contemplates what he knows is right, and what he knows he wants. This story takes place right after his betrayal of Iroh, and continues on from there. This is my first story!
1. Prologue

What did it mean to be royal? Was it blood, or was it just a title? Either way I could not help but feel pride when the red clad guards lowered their heads in a bow as I walked by. My mere presence had resulted in one lowering themselves before me, as though not worthy to stand. I was not ignorant to that feeling.

Numbly I processed everything in my mind, the Avatar's death, my sister's confidence in me, and the welcoming back to my beloved nation. How could it be that just one single action could make up for my, what it seemed like, endless shame? Dishonor, I had thought, could never be mended.

It had. That was all that mattered. The circumstances for which it happened ate at me night and day, but that did not matter. My father loved me , my nation respected me , and my title as Prince was reclaimed.

Life could never be better.


	2. A Dream Made Reality

I'll never forget the day I first came back to the Firenation.

There I stood, on the steel cold of the ships deck staring out at the scene as we neared land. Tall, red and gold buildings stood proudly. The waters themselves seemed to bow down to the magnificent area. Was I dreaming? Could this really be happening? The one place that I had only visited in my dreams was just a few miles away. The Firenation... my home. It was so close I could almost taste it, and the smell was intoxicating. Gently I reached out, grasping the image with my hand is if clenching on to the land that I was exiled from so long ago. I would_ never_ let it go again.

The form of my sister came to me, and she stood beside me gazing out as well. Her almond shaped brown eyes focused on the nation like they did her prey. Trusting Azula was an issue I unfortunately had to think about, but messing with her however was even more important to avoid.. That would wait until later. For now I wanted to savor this moment. I looked down at her, a soft semi-smile on my face. If I could have only seen how bright my eyes looked and how that fueled her sinister quality to take the light away.

"You are home now Prince Zuko, where you belong." She stated in her crisp official voice as she eyed me. Her blood red lips were pulled back in what could be taken as a smile. Deep in my heart I knew that her "smiles," were just confusions for radical obsession, and her body reacting to the obvious chemical imbalance in her brain. Ignorance was bliss, and I choose to be ignorant. As I stared out at the land again, thoughts of doubt hit me harder than any punches I had received. "What if father does not accept me." I said, voicing my insecurity, the rare times I ever did. A little hand gripped onto my shoulder, and dug down into it roughly. Again I looked down at my sister, my smile a bit reserved now. " _You_ have deemed yourself worthy. Besides, what father thinks wont _always_ matter.." I wondered what Azula had meant by this but I was interrupted by a loud horn.

Our ship was officially in the royal port now, and I began to feel myself shake. With my earned discipline I stopped , but nothing could silence my pounding heart. I kept my eyes still on the highest tower of the Firenation, knowing very well that my sister could smell fear.

As soon as I felt the ship shake to a stop I almost lost my balance. Azula had left me to wallow in my emotions while she checked on the crew. Azula had stood by me, and we were not fighting.

Princess Azula, my sister, was on _my _side now.

Overwhelmed by thoughts I walked to the other side of the ship feeling completely vulnerable. Never in my life had I felt this nervous, always had I been so sure of myself. Even so I had to pull myself together. I was Prince Zuko son of Firelord Ozai. Noble, royal, everything honorable. What had I to worry about? Nothing. That was correct, nothing. I tried to convince myself as my sister tugged on my hand. She lead me to two tall curtained seats. Gaping up at them, I climbed into mine and felt myself being lifted, the structure swaying. Grasping onto the chair stationed within the contraption I pulled one curtain back and viewed as I was lead down the dock by servants. My breath caught in my chest as the shadow of the ship past and sunlight pored on me, lighting the red curtains and bathing me in red light.

I was home now.


	3. The Prince Has Returned

Everywhere I turned there were whispers.

"Prince Zuko.. The banished Prince?" shouted one.

"Yes that's what I have heard!."

"The Prince has returned, does that mean he has the Avatar?"

"Will the Firelord put him in prison?!"

Anticipation and nervousness pumped through my veins as I tried to ignore the voices. All of them were asking questions that I was asking myself. With a small sigh I leaned back and closed my eyes in deep thought.

_Flashback: _

I sat by the pond, my young face dripping with sadness and depression. It had been about a week since my mother disappeared, and still I had felt the fresh pain. The area was very comforting to me. In the past my mother and I would waste hours there, feeding the turtle ducks. Gently I crawled over to the pond and looked down. The water looked so beautiful, glistening like blue diamonds. Slowly I dipped my face into the water and opened my eyes. The scene below was dazzling. Bright colored fish swam carelessly while a few turtle ducks splashed about. A small smile made its way upon my face. It quickly disappeared when I heard a sharp voice call my name.

"Prince Zuko."

I almost chocked on the water and pulled out of the lake, my face shining wet in the sun. Turning around to face my father I stumbled to my feet in a bow. Slowly I looked up to see a frown on his face. That frown would haunt me years after.

"You should be down in the training dojo with your sister, not lying around." He scolded, his voice dripping with hate for me.

"Yes father." I mumbled, casting my head in a bow of shame.

"Good, now depart." father ordered as he watched me scuttle off.

_Back to the present: _

His voice echoed in my mind over and over again. I could barely contain myself any longer as fear ate at me.

Soon I felt myself come to a stop, and slowly I was lowered. With shaking hands I opened the curtains and stepped out of the compartment. Azula soon followed and we both made our way into the Firenation Castle. All along the way red adorned people bowed to us. Feeling my heart pounding in my chest I kept my eyes steady on the castle.

My father was in that castle.

The Firelord was in that castle.

I couldn't believe I had ever called it home, for it seemed so cold and alien. Though I had reclaimed my honor I still did not feel worthy to be there.

"Father will be honored to have you back, Zuko." Assured Azula as we made our way in. She paused and looked around.

"This way."

Azula lead me through the immaculate halls, all tall and adorned with tapestries of Firelord's past. My heart continued to pound as I followed her up staircases and through never ending hallways. . Finally my sister came to a stop and turned around. I did the same and facing me was the door to my fathers war room.

The very war room that had granted me my banishment.

I gaped up at its large doors as memories came swirling back. The irony was menacing, proving that strange things really do happen in this world. Azula opened the door slowly and turned around to face me.

"Are you coming Zuko?" She asked raising a single eyebrow. I nodded quickly and followed her in, almost choking on my own saliva.


End file.
